I remember about five years ago I was reading a list of the best breakfasts in Sydney (I’m obsessed with stuff like that) and Cafe Giulia was on it. I hand’t been yet so I checked it out with a few friends and I ordered the corn fritters as the list said to. I remember thinking it was average but my loyalty to the list overcame me and I convinced myself I didn’t know anything about cafes. It’s as if Titanic is the only movie I had ever seen – naturally I thought it was average but everyone keeps telling me it’s the best movie of all time so I just assume I don’t understand movies.

But Titanic is average and, as I found out on Monday, so is Cafe Giulia. Maybe back in 2007 it was one of the best cafes just because there weren’t many good cafes around but in 2013 we have Kitchen by Mike, Cornersmith, West Juliett and about a thousand others. Seems like Cafe Giulia hasn’t changed much in that time.

Cafe Giulia’s blackboard novella says the corn fritters are the speciality but I thought they were too soggy – if you threw one against a wall it would slap and split like an omelette I like my fritters to be crisp on the outside and soft and moist in the middle. They taste alight but they’re covered in enough Hollandaise sauce to mask the scent of a horny moose. Maybe they’ve made so many fritters their disdain for the product has made it into overpriced sludge for ($18.90).

The French toast was equally expensive and ordinary. It was served with mascarpone, maple syrup, grilled bananas and bacon. Usually I love rich dude-food type dishes but this one didn’t was a bit of mess – all of the different parts competed and I found myself wanting to add Banana to every bite for the only reason that the Banana was fresh.

While I was battling my disappointment I overhead another customer talking to a waiter – he said:

“This is the best muesli I’ve ever had. It has a whole tree of fruit!”

I felt jealous and thought maybe I have just ordered crap stuff but one of them was the house speciality and the other was recommended to me.

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